Dejar de vivir

Como grito en el vacío, que muere sin ser escuchado, así quedo mi voz. Sin saber si algún día te volvería a ver, mi corazón desistió. En mis venas corre ansias de verte y decirte como te extraño, pero será otro grito? Te podré ver? Te podré convencer de mi amor?
En otra vida te tratare de reina, lo que sea por no perderte, pero sea otro grito?

The end?

She was waiting for it,
Waiting for those words to leave my mouth.
I knew there would be no return from
What was about to be said.
Somehow I had practiced it all in my head.
It would be fatal,
To be left alone.
To be abandoned with three children.
I would become the most terrible person I know.
Never have I felt such lament,
I made a wrong decision.
Insted of fixing it,
Insted of doing what I felt was right.
I did what I was accustomed to do,
Take responsibility for my actions.
I couldn't stop at one,
So it happened again,
And because two is too few,
It became three,
And since there could be no more,
There will be no more.
I lied a thousand times to myself,
And so I lied to you.
I told myslef I loved you,
And so I became used to it,
But this wasn't love,
This was responsibility.
This was the response to my situation.
I can't live with myself day to day knowing
What I've done.
It's over,
I guess.

Everywhere...

Even though it's been 6 years I see you in every face that comes my way. I dream about what I would do if I had you in front of me. I know it would be impossible for me to admit to you what I feel, but hardest part is denying to myself that I actually feel something. There's something wrong with the way the leaves move when the wind blows, must be that I see you through them and I know you're not there. It's hard for me to live day after day not knowing about you, but I guess I should just live with it. My life if far from perfect,  but surely you must probably think it's going great for me.

Sin Editar

LA vida me ha presentado muchas y diversas distracciones emociones, situaciones en las que no he sabido actuar con madurez. He estado pensando en eso que dicen de mi de que parezco una persona... bueno mejor no decirlo. Y la verdad es que no se si soy como me proyectan o asumo ese rol tal como me han fichado. Me siento bien siendo yo pero en realidad estoy siendo yo mismo? O estoy siendo

I guess it's so...

I've been searching through old poems reading and reminiscing. Suffering at the thought of my ignorance. I guess things aren't what they were before. Ihurst to not write anymore, but I guess I just don't have time. I am a married man with 2 beautiful children, a wife, a full time job and I am studying medicine. I hardly have time for me. I have 2 cervical spasms, a spasm on my chest and down my spine completely. I have more debts everyday. Everyday I wonder how I'm going to get by. Somehow I always do and I just have to say Thank You God. I am alive I am, here. I am always grateful although I don't show it. So now I am not writing as often as bofore maybe because I am not fustrated anymore, maybe because i have everything I need. The question is: If I have everything I need what am I looking for? Why am I always looking for something new to waste my time on?

Que tal esa idea de que el mndo es color de rosa?
A quien se le ocurriria semejante color?
Es que no hay otro color mas interesante?
El azul me parece bastante interesante.
Pero insisto que el mundo tiene tantos colores,
que seria un insulto a nuestro propio intelecto.
Sin embargo aceptamos que todo es color de rosa,
Por que?
Porque somos conformistas.
Yo creo que si no lo fueramos seria el mundo
muy confuso.
Pero ya dejo el tema que se me olvido que pensaba.

Half Truth, Half Lie

I can't believe I said it,
But the truth is not complete.
I finally said I'm tired,
But I didn't say about what.
The truth is I'm tired of it all.
I'm tired of being tied up,
of never having time,
I'm tired of saying half truths,
I'm tired of saying half lies.
I'm tired of all the yelling.
I'm tired of all the silence.
I'm tired of watching you look at me,
I'm tired of just watching you.
I'm tired of saying I miss you,
I'm tired of hearing you say it.
I'm tired of saying I love you.
I'm tired of saying I'm tired...