I guess it's so...

I've been searching through old poems reading and reminiscing. Suffering at the thought of my ignorance. I guess things aren't what they were before. Ihurst to not write anymore, but I guess I just don't have time. I am a married man with 2 beautiful children, a wife, a full time job and I am studying medicine. I hardly have time for me. I have 2 cervical spasms, a spasm on my chest and down my spine completely. I have more debts everyday. Everyday I wonder how I'm going to get by. Somehow I always do and I just have to say Thank You God. I am alive I am, here. I am always grateful although I don't show it. So now I am not writing as often as bofore maybe because I am not fustrated anymore, maybe because i have everything I need. The question is: If I have everything I need what am I looking for? Why am I always looking for something new to waste my time on?