Que Tal?

Que tal si digo que si que dejaria mi ser por ti?
Dejarias tu ser por mi?
Seras capaz de quererme igual o mas que tu ser?
Idioteces, palabrerias...
No!
Esto es lo que quiero decir!

O tal vez es confusion?


No lo es!

Esto es lo que quiero decir!

Pero que tal?
Tu que me respondes,
Me dirias que si?
Si yo te mirara como algo mas?
Lo Dejarias Por Mi?

Tantos susurros.
Entiendo lo que digo

Ansias por verte
Me imagino contigo
O sera que halucino?

Tenerte conmigo
Alguna vez
Me muero por ti
Buenas memorias tengo de ti.
Inumerables lagrimas
Emocionante pero silencio
No te niegues, tambien quieres...


No, esto no es un producto del revolver emociones
esto es emocion...
solo tu me entenderas...

Una Cancion Linda que estuve tocando hoy y ayer, hasta que me mandaron a callar...


Antes de Colgar- Panda

 Tengo algo que decirte que he guardado de hace tiempo
Que quiero ya sacarlo para que sepas que quiero
Algo nuevo más
Que una amistad

Quiero verte y decirte que ya no quiero verte
Como amiga como siempre he acostumbrado a verte
Ya quiero hablarte y decirte que te amo
Que todo cambie ya quiero conocerte mas
Porque no puedo ya no pueeedo vivir así


A mi tus ojos me enseñaron a volar
Y tu boca me dan ganas de besar
Y tus manos me tocaban me elevaban al espacio
Y ya no se que pasaba

Me desconectaba de todo lo que ay alrededor
No sabía que pensar ni que decirte mi amor
Te extrañaba desde antes de colgar
Te extrañaba desde antes de colgar

No sabía si decirlo o callarme por error
No sabía si lastimaba tu pobre corazón
O si.. lo alivianaba con estas tontas palabras
Yo ya quiero verte y decirte cuanto te amo

Yo quisiera ver otra ves tu sonrisa que es de ángel
Tus ojos que me llevan hasta el cielo de solo…
Mirarme ya quiero verte y
Besarte saber como eres bien por dentro
Quiero verte
Una vez.. y tan siquiera con eso me conformo
Porque se.. que estas ahí para cuando
Yo no lo este
A mi tus ojos me enseñaron a volar
Y tu boca me dan ganas de besar
Y tus manos me tocaban me elevaban al espacio
Y ya no se que pasaba
Me desconectaba de todo lo que ay alrededor
No sabía que pensar ni que decirte mi amor
Te extrañaba desde antes de colgar
Te extrañaba desde antes de colgar

Desde el silencio de este lugar escucho tu voz. Dulce placer me da ya que no escucho nada mas. Me hace sentir que no estoy solo, pero que tal si lo estoy? Y si no me he dado cuenta? No puede ser... Pero si estoy seguro que estoy aqui? o no?

Del temprano despertar hasta el tarde anochecer. Desde el momento de mi primer respiro, cuantas veces no te extrañé, pero no estas. Cuando estas me desesperas y me cautivas a un nuevos despertar. Pero cuando no siento que me muero. Cada dia que pasa no se que hacer, siento que voy a morirme porque no estas. Pero teniendote cerca quiero salir corriendo. No se porque escribo. No siento lo que escribo. Estoy aqui porque no quiero estar en otro lugar. quisiera estar contigo pero la distancia es mucha por recorrer. Odio, Ocio, rencor, desespero, angustia cual de todos quieres que sienta hoy? El que sea no importa porque de todas maneras no lo voy a sentir. O tal vez si? Sea cual sea el caso sigo escribiendo. Ya nadie lee, solo una persona de la cual pos es mejor no decir nada. Pero sigo ecribiendo. Extraño los momentos en la cual sentia que mi vida era perfecta. Ahora solo parece en una porcion perfecta. En momentos silenciosos y solos me ahogo en mi sentir personal. Reflexiono de mi vida y como he actuado con todos a mi alrededor, solo salgo a la idea de que no me arrepiento de nada. De no haber actuado como lo hice estaria en otra manera tal vez igual de feliz que ahora o más o menos, o quien sabe como. No he deseado ser otra persona sino yo mismo mejor, pero despues me di cuenta de que yo soy lo mejor de mi. No hay otra manera de como ponerlo. Porque seguir esto? no se pero solo se que quisiera hablar con alguien, que no me perjudique, ni me conosca para saber de que hablo ni porque lo digo. Solo quiero ser escuchado..? No creo, un grito desesperado al vacio, ya no queda a quien hacerle conocer. Sigo escribiendo, en la angustia de ser escuchado, en la retunia diaria en la cual me encuentro muchas veces, pero nunca por deber. Sino porque si, por desahogo. Hasta aqui escribo pues no se de que mas escribir por ahora...

!st Place Poem; Writing Contest

Love, my Love



How faint soundsyour cries
How beautiful your pale eyes.
How pale your tender skin
I wish, I could break in.
To break in, and flow through your
veins.
To sin, for loving you again.
My salvation will be you
As soon, as it turns noon.
For love is but an innocent feeling
In which nothing has no meaning.
And you have become my desire.
I hold you eternal in my fire.
Fire of lost hope.
Fire of no smoke.
Fire that burns like the sun and stars
Fire that burns me and holds me tight.
So fear not my hate, my anger, or me,
But love, my love eternally.

La Bajeza de Amar

Por más mal que me has tratado
Sigo a tu lado.
Me has hecho cuanta cosa he destestado
mas no te puedo olvidar.
Quisiera tenerte conmigo,
más me prefieres lejos para quererme mas
no aguanto tanto cambio
aqui
alla
que te quiero
(silencio)
dijo un perro
solo dije yo
o no?

Como te Sientes?

Como te sientes?
Sabiendo que nunca lo podras amar?
Como te sientes?
Entendiendo que contigo no quiero mas?
Como te sientes despues de un tiempo sin poderme hablar?

No puedo seguir escribiendo esto.
Pero no es para ti,
es para otra que se siente igual.
para M>L

This was the last Poem I wrote.

Simpaticas sonrisas
del "Te quiero" de Ayer.
Con las veces que te tuve,
Deseo volver a querer.
El olvido no perdona,
Pues de nuestros problemas
me olvidé.
Pero nunca de tu querer
me aparté.
Me muero por dentro,
cuando te veo con el.
Pero se que tu sufriste,
cuando no estuve contigo.
Es la vida cruel,
y el amor aun más,
Cuando no he terminado
de quererte,
ya te vas.
Pues asi lo quiso la vida,
mis deseos no son nada.
Buenos dias viejo amor mio,
Adios?
Porque te vas?

BUH>>>>>>...

I have absolutely no idea what to say or what to do I just want to sleep.I have no motivation for a poem or anything. I wish I could just sleep! There's a song going through my head; My Sanity on the Funeral Pyre, from Atreyu. I love that song... Umm... ok
The song says Blah blah blah... "sometimes it feels like the whole wide world has made itself, my enemy", blah blah blah and raise my head blah dunno ...
doh doooohh buh doh duh duuuuh?hahu hu uhh uh uhuhuh lol
I'm bored can you tell?
If anyone is reading this, please comment, at least...

To Touch Your Lips

To touch your lips...



not much there to say...
Whatever...
Let it speak for itself...

I think Not

I think it wasn't me,
But who can be sure.
Maybe I did whisper
your name, did I?
I think not,
Don't get excited,
I'll assure you I won't,
I doubt you saw me pass,
I doubt you'll ever see me.
I f you do don't cry.
I'll never be alone.
And you we're just a stepping stone.
Cruel?
I think not.
But does it matter?
It never did.
Did you matter?
Nope, not a bit.

Writing things on the
back of my mind.
Incubating ideas of
threats to humanity.
Hasting those thoughts of you,
to rid you of me.

If you only knew,
the true reason
it didn't last.
I knew just what to say.
I knew just what to do.
Now I just enjoy your
Suffer.
Now just time to wait to see you cry.
Cry on my shoulder?
I think not!

If Only

If only I wrote you a love poem,

If I only wrote you a letter,

If only I had told you what I thought,

You would be dead.

If you actually thought it was easy for me

If only you could feel what I felt.

If only you knew what I knew.

If only you thought how I thought.

We never would have been.

Juan José Cancel

Posting

Posting once again 'cause I have nothing else better to do. Hello to all you people who actually read my blog, thanks. Don't really know why but whatever. So, hi...

Once More... Lets go...

Hello, buh it's Friday and I'm pooped. This sucks I feel so tired and I want to go to sleep, but I got to go to work... I want my bed... buh buh bu buh\ buh!!!! Ye sMariela I work today... Ignore that, I'm the new public relations manager for the ESA ( English Students Assosiation), whoo. I make the flyers of all of the activities. Just yesterday I finished a flyer for a Poet in You activity, which is a poetry lecture activity. The fun part about this activity is that it's about Creepy Thoughts! Yeah I can finally express those dark and cynical poems with those killing desires of mine... Hey I finished my baptism classes! whoo... umm... I'm being played with, my hair, sorry, someone is playing with my hair and I just found out it's a guy...buh... Am I single? I have no idea... and who I am with? buh no soy puto soy facil... c u l8r...

Buh...

Hello once again? This really sucks... Who reads this anyways? Hello! Why do write here? Anna are you there? Harper? Michelle? Anyone? Whatever...

Once Again

Ocne Again I'm here in the University, boy this will be interesting. Hopefully I'll learn something this semester, and maybe I won't cut classes. Hey last semester I failed most of my classes cause of that. So how have I been? Well lets see, I'm taking baptism classes, I'll hopefully be getting baptized in a month or two. I started classes at the University last week, I have to pay $293 for my classes which aren't in the curriculum. I am single and I don't have a problem about it. I spoke with Michelle the other day. Yeah she's ok I guess, I spoke with myself last week too! I guess sometimes I don't even want to listen to myself. I wonder what ever happened to Anna and Harper? (lost?...)Shirley (my ex) is back with her ex (asshole!)
He wants to kill me (I think?)
Stupid Story:
The other day I went to Walmart, and I'm going to the car to take some bags while my parents check something out. I had seen Shirley and her Boyfriend(asshole!) and obviously he saw me. I totally ignore the ass while he's staring at me from head to toe, ( maybe he was mesuring me for my coffin?) Whatever, on the way to the car I feel the sudden stench of ass, as I look back there's this little green Corrolla with this white ass punk staring at me. ( honestly I crapped my pants(not literally))
So this ass just goes slowly by me...
Told you it was stupid...
By the way I take a class with her. Buh

Pacience God!!!!

Thoughts of You

Today I sat down on my bed. I was thinking about you. And as I looked towards my closet I saw that shoe box, yeah, it was in that shoe box that I had put you letters. I picked it up and took out the letters. I was thinking about you. I was thinking about those kisses we shared, the hugs and special gestures, the fights and arguments. I started to read those letters and remember every thought of you...

Thoughts to Come and Haunt Me

It's been a long time, since I've been here, and boy oh boy things have happen. But as always most are bad or most bring me back to you. Yeah, you, I still think about you, and I still wonder "What If?" but I'm moving on. You gave up on me a long time ago, you kept me waiting. Now I give up on you cause I won't be heartbroken again. I've suffered a lot these past months, but haven't had the need to show you. I guess it's my problem. You seem happy in your little world, but I ask you, "are you?" I do care just in case, but I turn my back on you, and look over my shoulder towards you. It's not that I'm trying to be mean to you, but I really just don't wnat you to see me as hurtr as you left me.

When Suicide seems like Disney

It's remarkably stupid the way I act when I feel incompetent. I sometimes feel like death would be the perfect escape and that any suffering would be worth not be present with my family. I really love my Mom, but somehow my Dad is so incredibly hard to love. I sometimes wish I could bash his head against the floor and yell in his ear, "I exist! Talk to Me!!!" Really, I feel like the least I have is a father. All he does is complain that I'm not worth my 18 years of life, all these years have been wasted, well I don't have a proble, with that. I can't say I hate him but sometimes it's the only feeling that comes to mind, but I just found a new word, "detest". I can say I detest him every so and so...